Adults: Singleness
Did you know?
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61% of adults under 35 in the church are single and 7.5% of over 55s; 1 in 7 live alone (Evangelical Alliance, 2012, How’s the Family?).
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Committed single Christian adults often feel alienated, isolated and lonely in their churches (Christian Connection survey, 2012).
People may be single for different reasons. Healthy Christian singleness involves single individuals being proactive about their well-being and development in different areas of their life. But equally, it has to involve others around them being proactively supportive, particularly their churches.
The resources below aim to support both these aspects, and obviously are also relevant to those who are dating or married.
7 Reasons Your Church Needs More Men: How to lead a gender balanced church supporting healthy singleness, dating, marriage and youth (The Engage Network, 2018)
See Chapter 7 ‘Singleness: what would it look like if things were working well in the church?’
With lots of practical tips for individuals to flourish in their situation, and for local churches.
Find out how to be a Single Friendly Church, and see findings from the largest survey ever of single churchgoers in the UK, with suggestions for single people, church leaders and national church bodies. Essential reading for all.
David Pullinger, Researcher/Author:
Invisible, hard to find or absent? Singles in the UK church
Key information about singleness and the church – “What’s the story? What needs to happen? Taking Action”
Key results from 2012 Christian Connection dating website survey ‘Singleness and the Church’
2013 Consultation Making Christian Marriage Possible, David Pullinger
www.christianconnection.com/single Resources from Christian Connection dating site to support single Christians.
Stuff Christian Singles Hear (humourous YouTube clip)
Books
Single-minded: Being single, whole and living life to the full (Kate Wharton, 2013)
The Heart of Singleness: How to be single and satisfied (Andrea Trevenna, 2013)
7 Myths about Singleness (Sam Allberry, 2019)
A Desire to Belong: Thinking about single people in church (David Pullinger, 2011, Network Christians)
The Single Issue (Al Hsu, 1997)
The Plausibility Problem: The church and same-sex attraction (Ed Shaw, 2015)
Single Women: Challenge to the church? (Kristin Aune, 2002)
Being Single: Insights for tomorrow’s church (Philip Wilson, 2005)
Singleness and the early church (Katy Wehr, 2012) Grove Books.
Encouragement for those who feel called to celibacy as a vocation.
Courses / Other Resources
Securely Single is a course especially for Christians who are single (whether they have always been single, or are divorced or widowed). It runs over 5 sessions and the material includes a video talk for each session as well as printable and photocopiable guides for leaders and participants.
Alpha
Alpha is a practical introduction to the Christian faith, aimed particularly at non-churchgoers and new Christians.
Christianity Explored
An informal course for people who'd like to investigate Christianity, or just brush up on the basics.
Freedom In Christ
Discipleship teaching and ministry process that helps Christians understand who they are in Christ, the nature of the spiritual battle, and how to move on to maturity.
Cloud-Townsend Resources - by Dr John Townsend and Dr Henry Cloud, Christian Clinical Psychologists
“The mission of Cloud-Townsend Resources is to help people grow personally, professionally, and spiritually.” Resources, information, courses.
www.cloudtownsend.com/video-advice
Free video advice from US Christian Psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend on issues relating to spiritual life, emotional struggles, goals and successes, leadership, singleness, dating, relationships, marriage, parenting.
www.cloudtownsend.com/resources/solutions/
Small group course on how to develop healthy, godly, and satisfying relationships covering: Communication, Intimacy, Conflict, Emotional issues, Boundaries, Success, Honesty, Expectations.
http://store.cloudtownsend.com
Books/courses/resources including: Boundaries, How People Grow, Changes That Heal, Safe People, Hiding From Love.
Mind and Soul
Exploring Christianity and mental health. Wide range of resources, books, podcasts, blogs and information to support emotional health.
Association of Christian Counsellors
Information about finding or being a Counsellor.
Life, Relationships and Executive Coaching from a Christian Perspective